Choices ...

Life, in and of itself, is about a series of choices. Some are relatively minor (do I have another cup of coffee? What do I want for dinner?), however many of our life choices are far from minor. Choices like foods, schools, relationships, religions, jobs … these all have major impacts upon our lives and who we are. When we are young, we make choices about what we want to do with our lives … and yet those don’t always stick (at least not for my generation).

I made the choice to go to art school, instead of engineering, poli sci, or mathematics … that choice did little good for me in the big picture. It introduced me to some things, some ideas, but I have nothing usable from that time … while it wasn’t the best choice, it has contributed to bringing me to where I am today (for better or for worse). That choice, combined with a number of others have brought me to where I am today … even the small choices.

Those choices came to a major crossroads in 2010 … when I made the choice to do something about the happiness in my life, or the lack thereof. As it has been documented, I made the decision in 2010 to divorce my (then) wife of 8+ years, because I was unhappy and I knew that I would not be happy in a relationship with her. This, of course, has put me into a number of conflicts about what to do with my life, what would happen with my family and my friendships, and how I would live my life going forward … and again with a great number of choices to be made, most of them much bigger than most I had made for a while.

I have not always made the best decisions in that time, I have hurt more than a few people I love with some of those decisions. Others have not turned out as well for me as they could have. But, as it was pointed out in my fiancée’s blog yesterday, there are no mistakes, only lessons … lessons that are repeated until they are learned. While we may not be in school, we are always learning – sometimes in ways we aren’t aware of. The point … I am still learning, to this day. I push myself hard some days, and I don’t always succeed. But I keep going. As was once said, “There’s no such thing as a failure who keeps trying”.

Some past choices have recently come into question and conversation between my fiancée and I, especially in regards to the last couple years of our lives. We have both made some difficult choices about what we each wanted/were going to do, all in the effort to find that happiness in our lives. In making these choices, we have given up a number of things that we did previously and changed who we are. I have given up on aspects of the lifestyle I used to live, I have ended friendships (or had friendships ended by others) because they are not going to be beneficial as I learn and grow. While it has taken me longer than I care to admit, to make some of those changes, I stick by my choices. A choice is not worth making if you do not support it yourself.

Make your choices, learn every day, and be resolute about what you are doing. Going off “half-cocked” (as they say) isn’t going to do you any good, as you will do nothing more than question whether you made the right decision or not. Too often, we make choices based upon the popularity of the outcome … I have been guilty of that more than once in my life. But I have come to the realization that I am not popular, I’m not cool, and I am more than OK with that. While I have not always made the best choices, those choices are in the past now, and I am living the life of the present and for the future. Make your choices for today and for tomorrow, not for yesterday. Living for your past is not living at all … and you aren’t learning if you do.

Namaste, my readers, may you find that happy route that we all seek in life.