It's Father's Day

So, it has been far too long since I wrote on here - something I need to get in a better habit of doing. May 28th was the last post, and things have changed greatly. Sometimes life has its way of working and stressing one out ... straining relationships and building others. Time has an interesting way of working things out ...
I am physically fatherless for the first time in 30 years. This is a surreal feeling for me, sitting at my mom's house and knowing that the Old Man isn't sitting/lying on the couch getting ready for today's race at Michigan. Some days are better than others - some days are really, really tough. I miss him like hell, more than I thought I would. However, I can't sit around and mope about what has happened. Life is about living, not about what has occurred. After all, I was instructed that I have to "live life and be happy". Time to be doing that. While I am surrounded today, by family and my Rosie, and tonight I will be with the beautiful, loving female companion, I can't help have a little feeling of loneliness. This, too, shall pass.
The other major change in my life has occurred this last week - the ink has begun to dry on the final decree paperwork. I am not completely thrilled with the final decree agreement, but (then again) I knew I wouldn't be. What matters most is that it is done, the bitter fighting, arguing, spite, and anger are now to be put behind. It is now time to move forward with my life, taking a more active role in raising my daughter, and finding that elusive happiness. It is a bittersweet ending, to say the least, but that is a matter of the past. It is something to learn from, to grow from. Harboring grudges or repeating past behaviors are destructive and wasteful of good energy. It is time to move forward.

In honor of Father's Day, I can't help but think of those who have been fathers to me - my dad Bloyce, my grandpa Lonnie (Sr.), my old man Jon, and a number of influences who have shown me what to do and (sometimes) what not to do. Life is about living and learning - about moving forward and always doing what you can to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is not just a myth ... nor is it something that you find and let be. It's always a matter of work, always a matter of trying. Nothing good is just found and let be. You always have to try, the effort makes the reward that much sweeter. I'm really beginning to see that now.