So it has been some time since I have blogged, and I really do not have the time to sum up all of my thoughts into one posting. I am not good at this writing thing - perhaps I need a reassessment of my hobbies.
What I do know is how quickly one can tear himself down with a reminder of his demons or past sins. This has happened to me in the last 24 hours, hell, in the last 12 hours.
I received a wake up call (in the form of a dream), that was resulting in myself fighting a demon - and losing either way. Needless to say, this has me shaken today ... given that the demon can symbolize hopelessness, negative feelings, or a return of one's old ways. I have never had such a stark self-warning, and I know I must heed it ... not only for myself, but for those who are close to me - many of whom I have also hurt in one way or another.
We all have our struggles ... some deal with them better than others. I often fail at controlling my struggles ... perhaps this time will be different. Making small strides every day is the only way I know to make things better ... I cannot be who I once was. I cannot be my own demon, my own destroyer - as I will only serve to ruin those close to me as I burn out myself.
It is far too long for the warm sun to return to this stark land ...
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